Lesson 8 – Self-Control

Enthusiasm and Self-Control

  • Self-control is needed to direct your enthusiasm to constructive ends
    • Without self-control enthusiasm can be very destructive
    • Enthusiasm is the vital quality that arouses you to
      action, while self-control is the balance that
      directs your action to be constructive


  • The majority of a person’s griefs come about through lack of self-control


  • Every single person that enjoys great success has developed the traits of patience, poise and self-control


  • If you neglect to exercise self-control, you are not only likely to injure others, but you are sure to injure yourself!


  • If you possess strong self-control, you will always have the upper hand in an argument
    • Losing your temper is losing your self-control
    • If you stay calm you will be able to think clearly while an aggressive person will lose the ability to make good decisions


  • In sales you have to possess the self-control to never argue with a customer
    • If a customer says something you don’t like you have to be able to ignore it and remain calm and friendly


  • Self-control is one of the essential qualities a leader must possess


  • If you refuse or neglect to exercise self-control you will miss countless opportunities in your life
    • If you are employed your employer will notice whether you have self-control or not and it will reflect on your possibilities for advancing in your carrier
    • If you run a business self-control will have a big effect on your relationships with suppliers, partners and customers


General Conduct of a Person with Strong Self-Control

  • A person with well-developed self-control
    • does not indulge in hatred, envy, jealousy, fear, revenge, or any similar destructive emotions
    • does not go into ecstasies or become ungovernably enthusiastic over anything or anybody
    • will not permit himself to be influenced by the cynic or the pessimist; nor will he permit another person to do his thinking for him
    • will stimulate his imagination and his enthusiasm until they have produced action, but he will then control that action and not permit it to control him
    • will never, under any circumstances, slander another person or seek revenge for any cause whatsoever
    • will not hate those who do not agree with him; instead, he will endeavor to understand the reason for their disagreement, and profit by it


  • Greed, selfishness and self-approval beyond accurate self-analysis indicate lack of self-control in of its most dangerous forms
  • Self-sacrifice is a commendable quality, but when it is carried to extremes, it also becomes one of the dangerous forms of lack of self-control
  • One of the most dangerous forms of lack of self-control is the habit of forming opinions before analyzing the facts
  • Another grievous form of lack of self-control is the “spending” habit




How to build self-control

  • If you feel yourself getting angry in situations where you wish to remain calm you have to analyze the reasons for your anger
    • Anger is always just a symptom for deeper issues like repressed emotions
    • You have to educate yourself on the nature of these emotions as you can’t control what you don’t understand
    • The best tool for dealing with accumulated emotions is to write
      • Sit down and write down everything you can think of that could be the reason for your anger
      • We resolve most our issues by thinking about them enough, however writing will accelerate this process greatly, as will talking about it to somebody else




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